@MonsoonSeasons

This is an exploration of the sexual inner world of the South Asian person. A place for erotic fantasies and voices that were never allowed space before. Where desire and lust, however innocent and personal, were followed by shame and self-doubt. For me, as part of the Southeast Asian diaspora, born and bred somewhere completely different, the Seasons (as I have chosen to call them) are a strong erotic trigger. The colours of Holi, the modesty of Eid, the songs, clothing, and dance — all packaged by Bollywood and presented in a family-friendly form. A form designed to push a button, even at a young age, when you sense there is something there they don’t want to or can’t talk about. The way he touched her briefly, the way she looked at him, her rain-soaked sari. I liked it without knowing why, and I intuitively knew I could not share these thoughts with others. Having had a vivid fantasy life for as long as I can remember, I eventually realised that while visuals were a nice late-night companion under the blanket, what truly made my inner fantasy world explode were spoken words. The sound of someone expressing what they want, the sound of someone getting it — or taking it — or whatever it might be, since everything beyond vanilla is subdued in our cultures. Dirty talking was framed as the ultimate sign of corruption for so long that it made me doubt whether I was OK at all. Surely everyone else had pure and healthy thoughts. But I know I’m not alone. You’re as fucked up as me — and that middle-aged aunty over there too. You should have seen the fantasy she sent me and asked me to bring alive. Now I want us to give those voices space, to hear them played out instead of locked away, as we have done privately for years. I hope I got my message across and that you sensed where I want to go with this. English is neither my first nor second language. Stay close. Give feedback. Share fantasies if you want, so I know which direction to go. Nothing here is about real people, nationality, or religion — it all lives in the head. Much love and pyaar to everyone, everywhere. P.S. If this resonates, clicking through my Linktree or following along genuinely helps. https://linktr.ee/monsoon.seasons